Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Carmarthen with Clint Edwards.

__ I feel dreadful ... you came in and said, "Hey, you look fresh __ __ __ I've ... I don't think I've ever felt worse. / Your eyes are very fresh, but now you've started talking, they're squinting up a bit. / My eyes are squinting / now __ __ __ talking / __ can only open / one / my face at once / I've had a hard week / I'll tell you __ about it / I've been, uh, working ... that's what I've been doing. Working, / hard week / I feel pretty rubbish / we'll get there. We'll get through the day / I've got the, uh, a help, __ heavily-edited listener playlist from P__ ... P__ V__ ... P__ V__ in Germany, has, uh, emailed this show, with the a, um ... a heavily-edited listener playlist for the second half of the show ... possibly the most German email I've ever read / don't know / stereotype / on this show / like / episode __ Mind Your Language. but ... / P__? / uh ... __ ... P__, yeah. P__ / uh ... I presume it's how you say / know / listening / P__ __ / can you, uh / it's a very ... uh? / V__ ... V__ ... I don't know. Um ... anyway, she's, um ... she's contacted the show, and, uh, if you wanna do __ next week, then, uh, just email the show / some, uh, selection of choice / she / wonderful accompanying email, "Do that if you can."

I've realized how tired I am today. When I just ... I read it in the paper ... hang on ... there it is. ... Right. I just read this. This is how tired I am. I'll explain why in a minute, ladies and gentlemen. Uh ... this is how tired I am / chaos / road / seven million family / holiday-getaway." ... and I thought, ... "Is it Christmas holiday already?" ... That is literally the thought ... first thought that went through my head / not right / third one that came into my head, "Hang on a minute. ... Summer holidays, ... innit? / next __ __ window / Um ... yeah, but / thing / partition / I can't really see __ ... That's how tired I am. That's too tired. / That is too ... What time did you get to bed last night? / Uh, last night, it wasn't too bad at all / was, uh, / the night before that was, uh ... / 3 a.m. / finish / the night before / E__ __'s Got Talent. ... I was a judge at the, uh ... at the ... uh ... show__ __ / talent / e__ / the E__ ... uh ... talent show / inaugural world premier, in the school in __ / school kids / we / some __ __ __ there was everything. There was ... uh, we had everything / We had, uh ... adults, kids, singers, dancers, standup, with sketches ... serious sketches, comedy sketches ... / Did you have any dancing dogs? / ... We had a guy, uh, dressed as a dog / controversy / he was / guy / dressed / it was very funny, actually __ guy, uh, ... guy / dressed as a dog. I was one of the judges, as was a chap called S__ E__ / new ... new standup / I s__ / half my time / in London / other places / spent / time ... in a ... __ this little village / this, uh, talent show. But, opposite me, just happens to live this guy called / S__ E__ / who's also a standup comedian / I think / two of us are standup comedians / E__ / population of E__ is 50, I think / two / right in saying / highest per capita ratio of standup comedians now. That's interesting, innit? / 人口 50 人。そのうち 2 人がピン芸人だ。人口におけるピン芸人比率が最も高かったといえる。 / A little fact for you. / that. ... The night before that, I started / Work Experience / Series Six / TV / Work Experience / this time / film / first / on whatever it was, Wednesday, and, uh ... supposed to finish / paranormal investigator / paranormal investigator / p__ investigator / supposed to finish / I got home / 5 a.m. / at midnight / that's / because / thought / too late / it's too late / 5 / 12 / didn't start filming / at 3 a.m. / two or ... two or three a.m. ... yeah. / did anything happen? / things happened, but I don't believe it / didn't believe / yeah / basically ... bas ... I'm very sceptical / we were talking about / a month ago / well / mate / very / these / and yet I found myself ... this is ... __ __ __ __ __ camera, right? This is ... this is how the filming works / behind the scenes, ladies and gents / camera / outside this venue / meet / investigation / I've never met / ghost / beyond the grave / they've got a big van / you / vacuum cleaner / I'm taking the dog next time / like Ghostbusters / next / find / 'cause my wife was convinced that our dog / do you know why / nothing there / my wife __ convinced it was a ghost in the room / was convinced / I was half-convinced as well. ... This is ... this is how suggestible / 暗示にかかりやすい / as a person / camera / I said / something along the line__ __ / very / remain open-minded / you know, these ... these things / it's difficult to believe / don't exist / at the moment / for me / yeah / five minutes later / literally five ... maybe six ... minutes later / I was aplologizing to a child ghost under a table ... in ... in all sincerity / I was apologizing / because / thought / really guilty / child ghost / I felt awful / practically I / crying / James / and / just / summer holidays / Exactly. / summer holidays / uh, anyway, uh, so, uh, that's it / paranormal investigators / ladies and gents / that's how tired I am / a lot of people / Christmas holidays / tired

"Hi Rhod, / now then, let's dust off Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo, ... which is / feature / possibly be familiar with / Clint / I can't remember / launch__ / three features / challenge / I'm launching / Here we go. / dusting it off / all new Celebrity Out Of Context Bingo / except / all new / month ago ... when I ... Celebrity / have you seen a celebrity totally out-of-context? ... Let's see. ... "I once saw Jools Holland / the / second-hand toy shop." ... It's not really / normally ... you know / new year's / yeah / out of context / nanny / yeah, but / out of context / train / it's not really ... it's just different. It's not out of context, is it? / what would be out-of-context / all right / naked / having a terrible time on New Year's Eve? / I don't know / the / this is from B__ in Lancaster / as a keen musician, I / good / when I grew up / I was on ... I was only a child at the time / although / not really taller / he was very nice / when / grew up / you / approach / him / mid / up / be very good / very nice / says / not particularly insightful / he / practice / still waiting to be invited / his show / I / celebrity / Bingo / sure / just / out of context enough / walking down the street, not hurdling."/ ハードルを跳ぶのではなく、普通にい歩いていました / ... Closer. ... Closer, I would argue / to be / my girlfriend / know / happening. / That's from __ __ __ / I like it. I like your email / sure / out of context / really / you know / "Dear Rhod, in the mid to late / 1980 / mid / stood / next to John Major at a urinal / gentlemen's toilet of a hotel just off __ __ in C__ / time. He had come to talk with / Teachers' Union member / about the proposed changes in teachers' paying conditions / I wasn't particularly impressed with the toilet encounter / discussion / a little while later / again, not sure / out / men's toilet? Why is that out of context? / I don't know. ... "Mr. / end / programme / peace sign / well-known action hero__ / giving a peace sign / pretty out of context to me." ... says G__ / What do you think ... uh ... what / my / she wasn't sleeping and she didn't have any __-related p__ with her / I don't even get that. ... Who's ... who's / No idea. / OK. / come on / cultural / neither you nor I / telly / problem / Lady Gaga / bus services / that's good / how do / recognize / picture of her. They've got photograph. They / selfie, or whatever / in Swansea / for reference / on a rainy Thursday lunch time / three years ago / brief / local newspaper story out of it / callback from / newspaper / thought about it, but / just not important enough for us to run with it / uh / photocopy / rubbish photo / didn't feel like / sorry / can we do it again / from Nancy / Wales / says / rejcted / my daughter / me / sent them to a showbiz mag / 250 pounds. Apparently / you don't / cash / celebrity by surprise." ... Anyway, so, none of these, yet / really / Out Of Context / just celebrity spots. Uh ... so, uh ... / feature again / been / out of context / I don't know. That's for ... for people to write in and say, I suppose / most unusual / gonna / out of contest / we've had some ... we've had some great ones in the past / although / have to say / remember any.

anyone / ghost experience / Probably. / something / with that / yeah / I spent the whole night ... uh ... I spent the whole night, on Wednesday night / filming / Work Experience / investigator / said / loads of things / went / the buildings of / chronicle / local newspapers / that are very old / supposedly haunted / and things sort of happened / or did they? ... or did they? I, sort of, / lights / off / surrounded by all / measuring things / got into it / as soon as I came out / got into it / 5 a.m. / time / hence __ I'm tired / I was, uh, immediately / nonsense again / did you use / night vision / night vision / night vision / I, uh ... I had a mild heart attack on Wednesday night, because / into / dark / started talking to one of the ghost-hunting team, whose name is __, and, ... I don't know / keep / quite often / you film / quite work / edit / work on TV. But this / woman / dark / voice is going / measuring / temperature / degree / extraterrestrial / all these voices just muttering ... sort of, reading / temperature / 1 degree / the window's open / uh / at one point / old castle / she said / she did / in the dark / yeah / and she was / just saying something ... yeah, / I just read you a sentence from a piece of paper / in front of me / according to __ research / having / kids / private schools / among the top 50 signs / realy / piece of paper in front of me / she was talking to me / she suddenly went, "Whoowwaaa !" / pitch dark / I jumped / I can't wait to see the footage / night vision camera / literally / shot / like that / what is it? What is it? / she goes / that's what it was / ghost hunter / I know / she / great fun / great characters, uh, on the team / they were really fun / going back / more / caves in Bristol / apparently. ... The challenge is, would you spend __ night / on your own / apparently mega-haunted ... mega, mega-haunted / I don't know. ... Pirates / smugglers / overnight / yeah / on your own / you say that now / you say that now / the other night. That was fine. / came up with / came up with ... uh ... / leave me alone / I was going, " / you are pushing that / four / pushing / Come on, / I wasn't pushing it. / finger / somebody else / touching it / Well, / team of ghost hunters / yeah / ghost / uh ... they said, "Is any of Rhod's ancestors in the room? / even / still / know / confident in my disbelief / 100% / spells out ... it spells out "Jeff" / they went, "Does that mean anything to you?" / I was like / my brother / text / four hours ago / tickets to the rugby, so, / let me / check / passed / what a way to find out / if Jeff / contact / don't worry about / rugby ticket / Change your plan.

Celebrity Out Of Context / Jeff / says, "Hi, / Cardiff City Hall / worst / bride and groom / I don't know / before / you / just / production team / just, uh, reminded me / we've got / heavily edited listener playlist / P__ __ / or __ / in Germany. "My full name is P__ __ / us / basically turning / character / I don't think there's anything wrong with / somebody's accent. Why not? / as / compliment / yeah / my full name / in case / those of you / some / do that accent / hello / inform you that / perfectly / my name / announcing / heavily-edited / playlist / earlier / in case you read out 'the most German / ever / German accent / challenge. "Kind regards, P__ __ / my name .. my full name is / German / originally from H__ / Germany / two years ago / at a university in Dresden / producer / too far / study / German / very much / it's good / certainly better than our German. / recommended / improve / listening to / radio show / there / useful / BBC も役に立っているじゃないか。 / especially / go on / drops / mate / one / radio / BBC / actually / radio / since / know / studies / all / English / speaking / months / all / in Britain / somehow I / stuck in Wales / staying / quite / capital of the world / full of nice people / more / especially Cardiff and Swansea / I fell in love with __ funny Welsh accent / keep / get in touch / I apologize for that. / also / landscape / breath-taking / all the sheep / weather in Wales / home / near the coast / North Sea / sunshine / south / this is where / German / please, production team, please ... "As long as I apologize / fun fact / here's / back in Germany / tour / factories / Volkswagen / I can't do it / I can't keep / this is the fun fact / back / guide / around / process / enjoy / particularly fun to talk to because you guys / great sense of humour / fact / Thanks, P__ / I hope / playlist / keep / she / Sunny Day / Bob D__ / Purple Rain / very rainy / anyway / thanks, uh, thanks / Let us know if you / know / heavily / show / next week.

Now then, / your partner / with something / sneak / in / she texted you and said, "Hey, Clint, you're on / show today. / sneak / words / in / audience / see / sneak in / how about that? / challenge / list of words / next / got / in the past / have you? / not just your show / secret game at the expense of / got / OK / let's just do / some of them / hard / let's / in the next 35 minuts / listeners / all / challenged to sneak in / by your partner / there / but / not / like / is one of them "like"? / is / one of them / No / that / kind of thing / not / I made that up / really / got touch with the show / in a picture, uh, of / must / a while ago / this, uh, picture of / wondering / goal keeper / anything like me / guy with / anything like me whatsoever. Uh ... Out Of Context / celebrity / how could we know / context / so much so / nothing / for / I agree. So, uh ... / find other / out / my advice / at all like you / meticulously groomed / is that ... is that / I don't know / much / Saturdays / only made better / Rhod / lazy morning/noon breakfast / think / Irish / Um ... Celebrity Out Of Context / I once saw B__ D__ / is / Iron M__ / Iron M__ / David D__ / first read it / Iron M__ / "Hi Rhod and Clint / celebrity / pushing / push / Town Center / love / show / out of context / out of context / a pram / front man / Iron M__ / expelled / remember / tried

Now then, in the start of the show, Clint / show / challenged / sneak / thought / see / also / audience / five words / any of them yet / have you? / haven't / quite easy words then? / all / what they are / it / Oh, hang on a minute / what / says / great radio, me trying to think / while you're thinking / have we had any / anyone / get / touch / rhod / show / any of / snuck in so far. I haven't noticed anything. / attention / pay / Daniel B__ / me, saying / don't do it / is "enigmatically" one of the words? / yeah, he doesn't exist / says / do / flat-pack / furniture / London / do DIY / me / a__-snake / yeah / people / somehow / do things like ... like / how many times you came / once / building / another occasion / Lloyd Langford / already / years ago / co__ed into / making / came / my house / built / I was there. I / strike / outside / as well / a little sofa thing / box / put / yeah / constructed / yeah, you did / don't do it / because / supposed / come / at all / internet connection / house / be nice / four months / can't rush these things / old vulnerable person / you know / in some way / more needy / one / those things / anyway / look at / "Dear Rhod and friends, / every week / any words in there / paranoid / make / someone / Rhod, Clint and Rosy / are you sure / words / christmas / trust / See? This is aweful / now / Dear Rhod and friends, every week / listen / at home / computer / miss / partner / instead. My 11-year-old daughter / all / ipod / under the duvet / goes / unlike / see / hear / she has her earphone / secret / except we can hear her laughing out loud / that / level / 11 years old / good thing or bad thing? / duvet / dark / she loved Jacket Quiz / had to ask / was / Quiz today / 11 / I work away a lot / Andy / Susie / Izzy / message / from me at home / pronounce it / L j / for two weeks / to them for me / wait to see / hope / where is that? / feels like somewhere / should know / do you remember / innit / everyone / the big gig / yeah / people / a lot / recently / the wildest idea __ed for Live Aid / hear / actually happened / wildest / launch / Mick Jagger / spaceshuttle / with / David B__ in space / amazing / NASA / scheduled / room for Mick Jagger / so / actually / Noel Edmonds / helicopter / when he landed / stop / disembarked / in case / can we get Jagger / space shuttle / we can get Noel Edmonds / helicopter / as long / wig blows off.

celebrity / from / side / stepped / in the frozen food section / uh / from / pronounce it / with / wishes / you did to them / as / have done / to others / out of context / S__ / well-known S__ homeware store / I __ __ imagine what that is / few / particularly / flat pack / a few years ago / buying / probably / could well have been / by the way, ladies and gentlemen / somebody's saying / we think / word / on to the show / go on / chocolate / reference / it is. / watch / it / reference / I don't / weirdo / England rugby champion / mick / same challenge / BBC live show / one of them / any of them / busy presenting this show / well done / spotted / got four / fancy pants / d__ egg / oh / I don't remember / looks like / I said / when you said "d__ / I did / shouting / point / yeah. Uh ... / else / do / No. / Yeah. / oh / It's not fair, this. ... It's not fair, this.

Celebrity / winner / today / from Cardiff / originally / bob / in the 70's.

if / whole show / bbc / 11 till 1.

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